I think the flight back from Massachusetts was the WORST flying experience I have ever had - and I fly a lot.
First the flight was delayed due to the previous flight being late and they kept subtly changing the depart time without announcements. The only indication that you weren't crazy and misremembering the time was the TIIIIIINY yellow announcement on the flight monitor. Thankfully, they made boarding go faster than normal so that we could all get on only about fifteen minutes late.
Ok, so now we're all packed in like sardines. I'm sitting next to a guy who looks like a cross between Jersey Shore and European Man Today- stubble, undershirt showing, fur-lined jacket, jeans, and men's leather boots - on his cell phone speaking not so happily to a phone carrier. Whatever, if nothing else it will be entertaining. Then the worst thing imaginable...
"Bing! Hey folks, this is the captain. It seems while they were closing the cargo hold the handle broke off, [inner thought: WTF!? I feel safe!] so we need to get maintenance out here to fix it. Just hold tight [where am I supposed to go?? I'm belted into an airplane!] and we'll fix it as soon as we can. I'll give you an update soon, this should only take about a half hour." The woman across the aisle starts flipping out. Calling the airline, demanding to be put on another plane, another airline.
A half hour later..."Hey folks, the handle is completely broken and they need to replace it, they got the part now and it shouldn't be too much longer, I'll keep you posted". more screaming from across the aisle....another half hour...the guy next to me starts calling for free shots, the woman has sent her husband to the front of the plane twice and rang the call button, but no word from the captain and the flight attendants are hiding. At this point I know that even if we take off immediately, I'm going to miss my connection...another 15 minutes..."Hey folks, I've been down there checking it out. They got the handle on, just need to fill out some paperwork and tighten a few things. They're hurrying so we can take off as soon as possible. We'll get out as soon as we can, if you have a 5pm connection you should be ok"...another 20 minutes..."Hey folks, still working on the paperwork and final check, it should be soon...if you missed your connection we automatically rerouted you..." he then rattles off destinations and new flight times, except for my destination - but the attendants are still hiding so I can't ask about it...another 20 minutes after that we finally left - almost two hours late.
During takeoff, a piece of molding over the window comes loose and flaps in the breeze over some passenger's heads. The attendant runs over with MASKING TAPE to hold it back up. They couldn't even use duct tape?? The guy in front of me recorded it on his phone, but I can't find it on youtube to show you. The attendant gave him a bad look when she realized he'd taped it.
Here's the only good part of the flight: while coming down the aisle with the beverage and food, I look at the menu and decide I'm splurging for some alcohol and a $5 adult lunchable. They don't have the snack advertised in the sky magazine, so I get a different one, but when I go to hand the attendant my credit card she shakes her head. BOO YA! free booze and food. Small victories, my friend, small victories.
So we land at about 4:35, my connection took off at 4:05. Now there's no room for us at any gates because we're so late, so we have to wait AGAIN on the tarmac. Of course angry lady to my left gets on the phone screaming to the airline again (with the attendant strapped in two seats over). Finally pull into the gate at about 4:50 and people clamor over each other to get out and to their next flight. I know I'm screwed so I hold back and let people go in front of me. I scan my boarding pass at the "Missed your flight? Scan and Go" counter...7:35 flight....standby...excuse me? Yup, standby. Great. Check the gate, decide to go check it out and cry to the booth person. After 2 gate changes and running all around I finally get to the right place, they're boarding a different flight, so I get some nasty airline food and look for a book store since I finished my book due to the delay. No book stores in this terminal. No book, dead ipod, no free internet for laptop...so not happy. I'm forced to get a trashy romance novel at the newsstand. I get to the booth, tell he guy my sob story, he says he can't tell me if there's room on the flight for at least an hour. So I go angrily eat and wait. When I go back in about an hour, whine some more, and get a real ticket! YAY! Then things start looking up as I find someone I know on my dinky flight to my little town, so I sit and talk to them for the hour until boarding...then this flight gets delayed too...o well I'm now numb to all this and just wait it out talking to my friends.
We board...I have a middle seat, of course, whatever I'm going home. There's drunk people galore across the aisle. I wouldn't care so much if my Lenox Mickey Mouse, that I carried on so it wouldn't break, wasn't above their heads and they kept knocking around their bags and re-opening the compartment even after the attendant closed it for take off. I begged the man to my right to get up and close the hatch, explaining about the Mickey, he does it since what am I going to do, climb over him? Nice short flight, I read my new trashy book the whole time, the drunk people slept, and its good, I even get the guy to jump up and get my mickey before the drunk people knock it on the floor - he made a comment about it but I just didn't care at that point. Time to call the boyfriend to pick me up....I text him I land and when I go to answer him calling while at baggage my phone dies...crap. They flight friends are mutual friends! I ask them to call him, they only one that has his number has a dead cell too...crap. So I go outside and hope he just circles until he finds me. He does! With Riley in tow, he picks me up. Its almost five hours after I was supposed to be home, but I'm finally home and it's wonderful.
I just got an email from Delta asking me to give feed back on my flight experience...this is going to be fun!
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